It still makes my heart race to think about how you are gone. It makes me light headed, dizzy, anxious, nervous. I want to believe you are not actually gone, but that I can call you at the shop and you'll answer.

I saw you Saturday. You looked like you were sleeping. I kept waiting for you chest to move or your eyes to open. They never did. But I could feel you with me there. I felt you Thursday as it poured raining harder and harder as we made our way to the shop. I feel you now.

It was your home. And you are my home. I will never let anyone forget how much I love them and care for them. Sometimes I feel like I failed you, when I know in reality I didn't,  but you always feel like you can do more.